Tuesday, 12 December 2006

The New Ten Commandments

2004 - Vol 1
The New Ten Commandments

As a secular state, South Africa’s national religion is now Humanism.Humanists have not actually abolished the Ten Commandments. They've just replaced God's Law with their own rules:

1. You shall not be intolerant of other religions, beliefs or views -except for Christianity of course.

2. You shall not read the Bible or pray in government schools. (However sex education, even in primary schools, must become mandatory.)

3. You may never take the names of Darwin, Marx, Mao or Mandela in vain. (However cursing and ridiculing the names of Jesus Christ and His followers is an essential aspect of free speech.)

4. Remember to keep holy Human Rights Day, Freedom Day, Workers' Day, Women's Day and Youth Day. (However, do be sure to go shopping on the Lord's Day and plan other activities for Good Friday, Easter, Ascension Day and . . . Xmas!).

5. Honour your Mother Earth and Father State.

6. You shall not defend yourself against assailants and rapists nor may you allow convicted murderers to be executed. (However, you may kill helpless infants through abortion and the incurable and very old people through euthanasia. In fact don't stop with them - once you realise what a burden you have become to Mother Earth you may want to request a physician assisted suicide.)

7. You shall not call it adultery, fornication, homosexuality, pornography or perversion. Don't be so bigoted and judgemental! If it feels good, do it. Don't consider the consequences for yourself or your spouse or children or society in general. Give free expression to every lust and craving and call it an “alternative lifestyle.”

8. Do not steal - because the government hates competition. Pay all the taxes it demands from you - even if you don't receive any services back from the government. If you must steal, take from the hard working middle class bourgeois - just leave enough for the government to get its taxes out of them too.

9. You may not tell the truth or preach the Gospel to your neighbours for that may offend them. You shall not offend your neighbour or suggest that he is wrong (Unless he is a Christian - then he deserves any abuse).

10. You shall not think differently from what the state TV tells you to think, for deviation from the politically correct position is intolerable.


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